Reflections – Defining Ourselves

Harvey Fierstein, American playwright, actor and producer once said: “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”

Having a definition of ourselves, in my opinion, is akin to having a map. It offers guidance concerning where we are and, if we wish to change, provides an indication of the starting point. We don’t need to be tied to a definition, certainly not one imposed on us by another person.

Yet it is so easy to get wrapped up in the beliefs and ideas others have of us. And this is especially true if there exists a sense of pressure or dominance in the relationship. Thinking about the workplace, why do we still need to treat anyone as being superior or inferior to ourselves?

One’s grade in an organization may reflect one’s level of experience or capacity, but I can’t see why it should ‘define’ the person. Aren’t we all collaborating independently in the exchange of time and competencies for income and opportunities? Security and fixed positions are rare today.

In society at large, harmonious relationships are more often than not built on mutual respect rather than the imposition and dominance of one party. Unfortunately, considering women carrying bruises and children with tear-stained faces, we know bullies exist not only at work.

Being respectful of others also means recognizing each person’s right to set a course through life, filled with personal dreams, aspirations and ideas. Sometimes the objectives may be shared and the journey undertaken in company, sometimes not.

For as long as we have freedom to choose and regardless of how you wish to define yourself, I acknowledge you for being you.

Thanks for connecting today. As ever, please feel free to leave a comment if you wish to be part of the conversation here.



2 Responses to Reflections – Defining Ourselves

  1. Maria Parraga says:

    Life most of the time is not fare. So we need self-assurance thu professionals like you. Thank you for taking your precious time to do so. Greatly appreciated.

  2. bgdtcoaching says:

    Hi Maria,

    Many thanks for your presence and kind words; I really appreciate our connection here.

    Kindest regards.


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