Being ourselves here, there and everywhere

So, the new year is in progress, bringing another chance for us to go about being ourselves here, there and everywhere.

With social media an integral element of life for many of us nowadays, the idea that we are anything less than ourselves is perhaps strange. Still, ensuring we provide a consistency of message – a way of being ourselves here, there and everywhere – is a personal task for each of us.

Values are transmitted through actions and yet words also play their part. Likewise, being authentic with our online followers, besides those we interact with beyond the digital world, is crucial to us being ourselves here, there and everywhere.

The ease of putting the notion of being ourselves here, there and everywhere into practice is linked to our perception of society. If lies and falsehoods make up our world, it is difficult to keep ‘the dirt from our shoes’. Yet when honesty is the name of the game, we too can let our true self shine.

To explore how coaching could help you as you attempt to live your potential, please get in touch so we can talk.

For now, thanks for connecting and for reading this ‘Being ourselves here, there and everywhere’ post.

Brian.

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer, Coach, Trainer and Author, supplies professional and personal development to a portfolio of corporate and individual clients.

As an Adjunct Professor at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, Brian teaches an International graduate course, using four characters taken from dramatic texts as coaching clients, to examine various work-related leadership and performance matters.

Brian’s goal is to support through coaching, training and writing all who wish to live their potential, in education, work or life in general.

You can contact Brian via e-mail (brian@bgdtcoaching.com), by clicking on the icons or leaving a comment below.

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Stepping up

If you were to ask yourself to what extent you are stepping up to your potential, how would you respond?

Maybe you are fully focused on being yourself in all you do. If so, the question is irrelevant and merely underlines the efforts you are already making in stepping up to be the true you, operating and being the best you can be.

On the other hand, it might be your answer highlights an area of development, personal or professional, you have been thinking about undertaking for some time. Stepping up right now to the task would of course save further delay and may just be the wisest thing you do for yourself this month.

Society seems to put much emphasis on dramatic initiatives and spectacular examples of us stepping up to mirror this or that celebrity of the moment. Unfortunately if we don’t feel ready, or inclined, to follow such role models, we could value ourselves lesser folk than those who do.

On these occasions it is worth remembering we all get to live as we choose. It is not the business of others whether we are stepping up, down or standing still. Justifying our actions wastes energy and often those we are attempting to convince of our decisions are actually not interested in any case.

Many people need others to follow their behaviour for them to feel comfortable with their own choices. This, however, is not our job.

As ever, I am curious to know your opinions on the ideas set out here. To share your views on the issue of stepping up, please leave a comment below.

Kindest regards and Happy 2016.

Brian.

Skype: bgdtskype

Twitter: @bgdtcoaching

E-mail: brian@bgdtcoaching.com

Google+: google.com/+BrianGroves

Website: http://www.bgdtcoaching.com

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/bgdtcoaching/videos

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/bgdtcoaching/the-bgdtcoaching-space

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer, CTI-trained co-active coach and freelance trainer, supplies professional and personal development through coaching, coaching workshops, marketing development training and English language training.

As an adjunct professor at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, Brian teaches a postgraduate course based on dramatic texts and elements of coaching to examine various work-related performance matters.

Publications

Performance skills at work (2015), Personal performance potential at work (2014), Coaching, performing and thinking at work (2013), Reflections on performance at work (2012), Elements of theatre at work (2010) and Training through drama for work (2009).

 

Standing out

“By trusting our potential, appreciating our skills and believing in our abilities, we are standing out from the crowd.” #bgdtcoaching.

Respecting that each of us has a unique presence, standing out here need not be read as being better than anyone else. It is rather a question of harnessing our strengths for the sake of giving our all to our performance.

Standing out, when many are keeping their heads down, doing everything to not bring attention to themselves, may be looked upon as reckless. Viewing it from another perspective, isn’t it more risky to be carried along with the masses, transferring decisional responsibilities from ourselves?

By standing out we are, at least, giving ourselves the opportunity to participate as much as possible in the construction of today and tomorrow. If some choose to ridicule us for attempting to live life to the full that is their prerogative.

It may be they are perplexed by our strategy, or perhaps a little jealous of our courage. No matter what their motive, we cannot change them and do not need to spend time or energy worrying about them. By trusting our potential, appreciating our skills and believing in our abilities, we are standing out from the crowd.

Thanks for reading this today. If you’d like to share your thoughts on the issue of standing out, please feel free to leave a comment below.

Kindest regards.

Brian.

Skype: bgdtskype
Twitter: @bgdtcoaching
E-mail: brian@bgdtcoaching.com
Website: http://www.bgdtcoaching.com
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/bgdtcoaching/videos
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/bgdtcoaching/the-bgdtcoaching-space

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer and CTI-trained co-active coach, supplies professional and personal development through coaching, coaching workshops, marketing development training and English language training.

As an adjunct professor at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, Brian teaches a postgraduate course based on dramatic texts and elements of coaching to examine various work-related performance matters.

Publications

Personal performance potential at work (2014), Coaching, performing and thinking at work (2013), Reflections on performance at work (2012), Elements of theatre at work (2010) and Training through drama for work (2009).

One of many

What unites us is surely greater than what separates us.

However, as humans we are each a unique character with a personal way of being.

One of many maybe, but one nonetheless.

We all bring something to this world irrespective of whether we stand out like a rock or mingle with the shingle.

One of many to many, ‘the one’ to some: who looks to you because without you they would be lost at work, alone in their existence, or unloved in life?

Many times problems arise as we start comparing ourselves with others. Examples abound of ‘them’ doing this or that, going here and there, barely pausing for breath as they update their status. Social media or social hype?

That we can choose who to follow, what to like or when to connect even remains an area, one of many hopefully, over which we still have control. It’s true pressure to conform can be enormous, yet despite that, or possibly because of it, individuality deserves recognition.

Thanks for spending a few moments here today. If you’d like to leave a comment on the question of one of many, please leave a comment below.

To discuss how judgment-free coaching could be the ideal setting for you to explore your goals and choices, please send me a DM on Twitter (@bgdtcoaching) or an e-mail via my website at http://www.bgdtcoaching.com/

Thanks again and kindest regards.

Brian.

Reflections

Three Common Hurdles

All clients are different, each has his or her own objectives, areas of action and choices to be explored, clarified, and worked upon. Yet three items stand out as typical hurdles between where one is and where one wishes to be. Perhaps they are common to us all.

Asking
The saying ‘If we don’t ask the answer is always no’ is so true. Yet opening up, with a genuine request for help, information, a chance to be considered for promotion, a date even, can seem terrifying at times.

The problem may derive from the fear of not wanting to appear needy, pushy, desperate or suchlike. On the other hand, people might just be happy for us to reach out, make the first move, and assume our silence is due to a lack of need or interest on our part.

Building self-belief in ourselves – the worst that could happen is we receive a ‘no’ for an answer, right? – can be done over time and with situations involving simple, no risk requests. Hearing our ourselves ask may be a new experience, but the results could be worth the effort.

Saying no
As we might hold back on asking, so too can saying no to others be difficult at times. Being available 24/7 is tiring though and giving unlimited access to everyone outside of the immediate family unit reduces our ability to provide quality time for those we love.

Unless our job description specifies otherwise, we are employed to do our job. Being clear on our priorities, explaining and if necessary defending these, may help us overcome the habit of not saying no. In a similar way to asking, we can start small and progress with time.

Trusting
People do cheat, there are times when we shouldn’t trust. But making it a default setting for all our interactions means we potentially miss out on so much. ‘Trust but verify’ is a saying which offers some wisdom in those situations we are unsure about.

Life is not just about ‘bad’ people however. Many are undoubtedly honest, decent folk and, with a little trust, we can connect with them. Opening up, expanding one’s circle of contacts, meeting new people and learning about life through such exchanges are also elements of life.

Each hurdle may be broken down into small steps and tackled one at a time as confidence grows. They could be explored from various perspectives to gain more insight. Visualizing oneself asking and receiving the answer desired, saying no to an unreasonable request or trusting someone’s intentions are good and being proved right, might help too.

Working to overcome our limits through exploration and practice can enrich our lives. The ideas offered here are just drops in the ocean in terms of ways of dealing with the three hurdles. As always, I am sure you have input around these issues and I’d love to hear your ideas.

Brian.
www.bgdtcoaching.com

Reflections

Moving Forward, by Standing Still

Sometimes life just seems a relentless round of running around. Without time to enjoy the sense of completion of one thing, something else springs up to capture our attention. School finishes and parents are under pressure to ‘entertain’ their children for the next six or so weeks. Promotion at work is confirmed, but before we have time to find our feet a backlog of problems is passed to us.

A list of such examples would be endless but I’m sure you get the picture. Even with the benefit of modern technology to help keep track of friends, events, appointment and so forth, it can be stressing to keep our status up to date and our successes in the public eye …

Making time for ourselves is often looked upon by ‘others’ as a selfish act. Indeed, trying to satisfy the constantly shifting and never explicitly defined criteria of ‘them’ is in itself a burden beyond belief.

At some point the limit is reached, hopefully through conscious choice although a crisis often brings it to the fore, and a decision is made to start living the life we desire, not the one imposed upon us by those around us through their disdaining looks, unhelpful concerns and half-truths.

Our life is just that, ours. We are the experts on ourselves. Where we are right now is the culmination of years of choices, decisions, yes mistakes possibly, and lots of other factors both under our control and out of our hands, quite likely unknown to ‘them’.

We invariably know more about how we are in this moment and what we desire than ‘them’, so why do we give ‘them’ the power to run our lives? Because we know no other way? Because we are afraid of what ‘they’ might think if we take charge? Because we fear our potential?

Starting small, perhaps with just an hour a week, in reclaiming our lives could open all sorts of new perspectives. Standing still, as it were, outside of the game of life we usually play, might permit us to have the overview rarely available to us as we run through our schedules.

Is an hour a week, just for yourself, reasonable or selfish? Ask yourself not ‘them’ because we know what ‘they’ would say, don’t we.

Brian.
www.bgdtcoaching.com