3 ways to handle an obstacle

May 16, 2013


3 ways to handle an obstacle? I rarely indulge in the ‘How to’ style of blog posts. After all, I believe you are, as the co-active coaching cornerstone goes, “naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.” You don’t need me to tell you anything.

However, please bear with me as I set out 3 ways to handle an obstacle for the benefit, at least, of opening up a conversation on the subject. At the end, should you choose to ignore them that’s fine. On the other hand, if you feel I could assist you through coaching please get in touch.

3 ways to handle an obstacle

i) Meditate on it.

Yes really, use it as a focal point for some concentrated meditation. Let the obstacle become the means to still ourselves as thoughts flow in our mind. The exercise could bring up an eventual solution to the obstacle as we contemplate it calmly. Alternatively, the pause itself might be the key to aligning with previously unseen options.

ii) Accept it.

As it is, and change direction immediately. Don’t give it a second thought as we move off along a different path. If the goal or final destination is the most important aspect of our activity, we needn’t feel attached to any specific road. Being held up is not always something we wish to allow.

iii) Embrace it.

It’s there, probably for a reason so let’s learn from it by getting up close to it. Maybe we discover our planning or preparation was not as complete as first thought. Possibly new considerations need to be factored into our work so as to eventually overcome this or similar obstacles in the future.

There, 3 ways to handle an obstacle. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. In the meantime, thanks for reading this today.

Kindest regards.


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Reflections – Facing the truth

June 20, 2011

Whether we like it or not, as Gandhi said: “the truth is the truth”.

Facing the truth is often the first step in the process of working on whatever needs to be done to bring about a life more aligned to our values and objectives.

Denying the truth on the other hand – be it related to work issues, relationship matters or any other area of life – rarely helps us over the long-term. Issues requiring our attention cannot be solved if they have been swept under the carpet.

At times it seems we prefer to cling to ideas and beliefs based not on facts but rather on a distorted version of the truth. Things have always been so, we might tell ourselves, without investigating the validity or otherwise of such thinking.

Colleagues, friends and family members even might feel the moment is never right to offer us the truth, though the benefits of such an action would be clear once the anguish or embarrassment has passed.

In coaching, ‘pussyfooting around with the truth’ serves no one. A challenging or thought-provoking question, arriving out of the blue can wake us up to the truth. Awareness and learning may come by having the truth spoken and perhaps examined within the safety of the coaching conversation.

In case you were wondering, my coaching activity on the telephone and via Skype continues throughout the summer. If you would like to explore how it could be of benefit to you, please get in touch.

Thanks for stopping by here today.




June 14, 2010

Three Common Hurdles

All clients are different, each has his or her own objectives, areas of action and choices to be explored, clarified, and worked upon. Yet three items stand out as typical hurdles between where one is and where one wishes to be. Perhaps they are common to us all.

The saying ‘If we don’t ask the answer is always no’ is so true. Yet opening up, with a genuine request for help, information, a chance to be considered for promotion, a date even, can seem terrifying at times.

The problem may derive from the fear of not wanting to appear needy, pushy, desperate or suchlike. On the other hand, people might just be happy for us to reach out, make the first move, and assume our silence is due to a lack of need or interest on our part.

Building self-belief in ourselves – the worst that could happen is we receive a ‘no’ for an answer, right? – can be done over time and with situations involving simple, no risk requests. Hearing our ourselves ask may be a new experience, but the results could be worth the effort.

Saying no
As we might hold back on asking, so too can saying no to others be difficult at times. Being available 24/7 is tiring though and giving unlimited access to everyone outside of the immediate family unit reduces our ability to provide quality time for those we love.

Unless our job description specifies otherwise, we are employed to do our job. Being clear on our priorities, explaining and if necessary defending these, may help us overcome the habit of not saying no. In a similar way to asking, we can start small and progress with time.

People do cheat, there are times when we shouldn’t trust. But making it a default setting for all our interactions means we potentially miss out on so much. ‘Trust but verify’ is a saying which offers some wisdom in those situations we are unsure about.

Life is not just about ‘bad’ people however. Many are undoubtedly honest, decent folk and, with a little trust, we can connect with them. Opening up, expanding one’s circle of contacts, meeting new people and learning about life through such exchanges are also elements of life.

Each hurdle may be broken down into small steps and tackled one at a time as confidence grows. They could be explored from various perspectives to gain more insight. Visualizing oneself asking and receiving the answer desired, saying no to an unreasonable request or trusting someone’s intentions are good and being proved right, might help too.

Working to overcome our limits through exploration and practice can enrich our lives. The ideas offered here are just drops in the ocean in terms of ways of dealing with the three hurdles. As always, I am sure you have input around these issues and I’d love to hear your ideas.


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