The positive step of moving away from negative people

September 19, 2019

Maybe we can’t do all we would like to do in terms of building our desired life. Even so, there is one thing within our power to accomplish. We can take the positive step of moving away from negative people.

Of course, there will be people who, for whatever reasons, we are unable to exclude from our life. In these instances, the positive step of moving away from negative people might involve creating a mental space between ourselves and them.

We needn’t digest all their negativity. Learning to hear something without allowing it to influence our mindset is a skill worth acquiring. Letting go of gloom or, better yet, not picking it up in the first place, is our responsibility. And how we choose to engage with people says much about our outlook of the world.

Needless to say, we can extend the positive step of moving away from negative people to include news reports and the like.

To join the conversation on the issue of the positive step of moving away from negative people, please leave a comment below.

Kindest regards.

Brian.

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer, Coach, Trainer and Author, supplies professional and personal development to a portfolio of corporate and individual clients.

As an Adjunct Professor at the Università Cattolica, Milan, Italy, Brian teaches an International graduate course, using four characters taken from dramatic texts as coaching clients, to examine various work-related leadership and performance matters.

Brian’s goal is to support through coaching, training and writing motivated people who wish to live their potential, in education, work or life in general.

Curious? You can contact Brian via e-mail (brian@bgdtcoaching.com), by clicking on the icons or leaving a comment below.

Twitter iconWebsite icon

Amazon icon

IG icon

Advertisements

Control actions, let go of outcomes

April 14, 2019

Wanting to micromanage everything is a trait many of us can recognise, either in ourselves or in those with whom we interact with on a regular basis. And the stress brought about by such behaviour is, in all probability, likewise familiar.

A while back someone suggested a different approach, summed up by the words ‘Control actions, let go of outcomes’. Knowing we are, in any case, unable to always control the outcomes of our actions, it is fair we focus on controlling actions as we let go of outcomes.

Yet what will happen if we do embrace the idea ‘control actions, let go of outcomes’? Personally, I guess I’d become fairly unsettled at first then, hopefully, pleasantly surprised with the resulting saving of time and energy.

What would happen to you? I have no idea but being curious, if you ‘control actions, let go of outcomes’ please share the result.

In the meantime, thanks for reading this ‘Control actions, let go of outcomes’, post.

Brian.

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer, Coach, Trainer and Author, supplies professional and personal development to a portfolio of corporate and individual clients.

As an Adjunct Professor at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, Brian teaches an International graduate course, using four characters taken from dramatic texts as coaching clients, to examine various work-related leadership and performance matters.

Brian’s goal is to support through coaching, training and writing all who wish to live their potential, in education, work or life in general.

You can contact Brian via e-mail (brian@bgdtcoaching.com), by clicking on the icons or leaving a comment below.

Twitter iconWebsite icon

Amazon icon

IG icon


Rewind

October 18, 2015

Rewind cassette image

If we could rewind to a previous moment, perhaps to either repeat a pleasant experience or do something differently to avoid a negative consequence, I guess most of us would jump at the chance.

Unfortunately, or not as the case might be, we cannot rewind back into the past. Without the capacity to return to previous times, we need to bring into the picture two resources we do have: the ability to let go and the facility to start again, wherever we are right now.

Though unable to rewind, by letting go of what has gone we free energy to start again in the present. We might do something in a more appropriate way, or if past results were positive, repeat old actions to produce similar successes.

Efforts undertaken long ago may still be creating an impact today. To rewind to the roots of our efforts would mean reconnecting with the initial intentions regarding them. But we don’t need to rewind to do this. By looking into our heart we can be at one with our intentions, past and present.

An exercise of this nature would permit us to examine the validity of our values, beliefs and goals. Being able to do this, as and when we choose to do so, suggests we should sum things up with the slogan: ‘Rewind, no. Reflect, yes.’

Thanks for reading this ‘Rewind‘ post.

Brian.

Skype: bgdtskype

Twitter: @bgdtcoaching

E-mail: brian@bgdtcoaching.com

Google+: google.com/+BrianGroves

Website: http://www.bgdtcoaching.com

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/bgdtcoaching/videos

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/bgdtcoaching/the-bgdtcoaching-space

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer, CTI-trained co-active coach and freelance trainer, supplies professional and personal development through coaching, coaching workshops, marketing development training and English language training.

As an adjunct professor at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, Brian teaches a postgraduate course based on dramatic texts and elements of coaching to examine various work-related performance matters.

Publications

Performance skills at work (2015), Personal performance potential at work (2014), Coaching, performing and thinking at work (2013), Reflections on performance at work (2012), Elements of theatre at work (2010) and Training through drama for work (2009).


Packing up

June 28, 2015

 

Packing up

Getting things together, sorting what needs sorting and packing up everything is a way of moving forward for some people. Packing up goods no longer required can be liberating.

Rather than actually letting go of these items – something probably actually worth considering in many instances – packing up the things and putting them away lessens some of the resistance and upset associated with moments of change.

Packing up might also be applied to intangible objects. We may choose to ponder packing up certain habits, smoking coming first to mind. Yet as a non-smoker all I would say here is that if some folk have managed to give up the habit it’s likely others too have the capacity, no?

Taking greater control of how we use our time could mean packing up, or at least reducing, time spent on activities keeping us from working on our heartfelt goals. As I wrote some time ago on Twitter (@bgdtcoaching), “It is not true others have more time than us, they just use it differently.”

Anyway, before packing up here today, let me thank you for reading this post. To join the conversation, please feel free to leave a comment below. If you’d like to discuss the idea of packing up habits as part of a coaching conversation, please get in touch.

Kindest regards.

Brian.

Skype: bgdtskype

Twitter: @bgdtcoaching

E-mail: brian@bgdtcoaching.com

Google+: google.com/+BrianGroves

Website: http://www.bgdtcoaching.com

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/bgdtcoaching/videos

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/bgdtcoaching/the-bgdtcoaching-space

About Brian

Brian Groves DipM MCIM Chartered Marketer and CTI-trained co-active coach, supplies professional and personal development through coaching, coaching workshops, marketing development training and English language training.

As an adjunct professor at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, Brian teaches a postgraduate course based on dramatic texts and elements of coaching to examine various work-related performance matters.

Publications

Personal performance potential at work (2014), Coaching, performing and thinking at work (2013), Reflections on performance at work (2012), Elements of theatre at work (2010) and Training through drama for work (2009).


Letting go

August 18, 2013

Secondhand dealerLetting go of unwanted items is a major business nowadays. Besides car boot sales, garage sales, secondhand dealers and online sites dedicated to selling or exchanging used goods, charity shops and the like are keen to relieve us of what we no longer wish to have around.

Letting go of out-dated beliefs – perhaps those handed down from previous generations – can be tougher, particularly if we have developed our life around them. Likewise we may have taken up certain habits, allowing them to represent us: “We are smokers/drinkers/meat eaters”.

Yet as the author Dr Spencer Johnson noted, “Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.”

Letting go of others’ opinions about us frees us to create our desired life. Our way of being may not always be appreciated, but only we truly know how our life has been to date. Attempting to defend our choices can itself be something worth letting go of, more so if we are dealing with people unwilling to accept our right to make our own decisions.

Thanks for reading this today. To share your thoughts on the issue of letting go, please leave a comment below.

Kindest regards.

Brian.

Skype: bgdtskype

Twitter: @bgdtcoaching

E-mail: brian@bgdtcoaching.com

Website: http://www.bgdtcoaching.com

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/bgdtcoaching/videos

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/bgdtcoaching/the-bgdtcoaching-space


Reflections – Choosing Our Present

December 27, 2010

Despite the long preparation and build-up, the past few days in many households may have whizzed by in a whirl. Midnight, December 26: “Christmas is as far away as ever,” goes the old saying, usually followed by a collective groan.

As time flies though, it need not necessarily mean a cancelling of what has gone before. Sometimes it’s enough to graciously acknowledge the past and then connect with the present. A sense of space can emerge as we accept the transient nature of things, thoughts, even people.

We can appreciate the past and all it means to us, without grasping or clinging to it in fear of it leaving us. You may know about the butterfly in the hand: hold it too tightly and you crush it; hold it too loosely and it flutters away. The same could be said of past memories.

We get to choose how or what we wish to take with us from the past into our present existence. And even though some actions or incidents might be regrettable, we needn’t replay them continuously to the point of them blocking the enjoyment of the present and impeding the potential of the future.

To end here, I’d just like to share the words of the author Richard Bach: “You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past.”

If you would like to share your input on the issues raised here, please leave a comment below. In the meantime, thanks for stopping by today.

Kindest regards.

Brian.
www.bgdtcoaching.com


Reflections

April 13, 2010

Embracing the negative

Like me, I imagine you know one or two people who speak only in the negative. They pepper each conversation with a barrage of ‘no, never, impossible, can’t, couldn’t, won’t.’ Every idea is put down without a moment’s consideration. Life from this perspective seems so bad, restrictive, foreboding; one wonders why or indeed how we can go on.

Leaving aside such people without judging them, I’m curious about those troubling feelings the rest of us may encounter occasionally. Those negative thoughts about past events or worries about upcoming tasks. By playing these snippets over and over in our minds we pump them with energy, making them bigger to the point they impede our present. So, how can we handle them?

Resist reality
We can do nothing and let them block us from getting on with our lives. A mistake in the past can be enough to make us believe we are ‘useless’ at everything. Denying the negative feelings and worries only causes them to grow, or as Carl Gustav Jung said: “what we resist persists.”

Get moving
We can distract the negative thoughts by throwing ourselves into something we enjoy; movement of some sort usually helps for a while. It’s ‘working around the fears’ so to speak.

Embrace them, then gently move on
We can’t change the past but we can take learning from it. An upcoming activity might be testing for us, yet development comes by expanding the limits of our comfort zone. If we choose, we can acknowledge the worries as a healthy part of the growth process. After all, were we born with the ability to read, write, cook, drive, swim, paint, and sing, or did we develop such skills over time?

Preparation, belief in the possibility of success, and trust in ourselves to give our best. These elements help us let go of the negative and optimize the opportunities life provides us.

Many perspectives on such issues are possible. To open up the learning, I’d love to hear how you deal with negative thinking and worries.

Brian.
www.bgdtcoaching.com


%d bloggers like this: