Reflections

Meaningful Ideals

This morning over coffee a friend asked me what an ideal coaching client looks like. It gave me pause to wonder if there is a single answer to such a broad question. My ideas in relating to others are formed by so many variables, and I found myself thinking of how to illustrate an ideal type.

Solid, decent folk – I sense possibly based in America more than anywhere else but I could easily be wrong – going about their full and busy lives, who often need a place to be heard. They are people who temper frustration, who lack a safe space to express feelings that may otherwise be misconstrued, who sense that there is potential risk that their very feelings may be held against them as being so ‘out of character.’ They are people who yearn to speak about matters and sentiments which, spoken anywhere else, may not be viewed as acceptable or acknowledged as valuable.

I see my coaching sessions as a space being held for these people to allow themselves to explore these feelings and examine choices, safe in the knowledge I’m not there to correct them, teach them or judge them in any way. Meeting them as they are in the moment sounds almost clichéd yet for now I can’t think of any other way to express it.

No getting people from A to B. No fixing problems or insisting on a positive attitude.

Clients might go on to achieve all sorts of things in their day-to-day lives and I’ll be the first to offer my congratulations. Being themselves, warts and all, for an hour is, however, also worthy of recognition as it requires courage, determination and honesty – characteristics of my ideal coaching client.

I believe people are naturally creative, resourceful and whole, it’s a cornerstone of co-active coaching, as well as a testament to something I see as an essential component of a peaceful outlook that truly benefits the world and the clients I serve.

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.”
–Henry David Thoreau

Ciao for now.

Brian.
www.bgdtcoaching.com

Reflections

To Be You Right Now

Putting aside the classic To Do list, closing the agenda and clearing the decks for two minutes allowed the idea of a To Be list to enter my mind.

Working on the same principle as a To Do list, my To Be list sets out objectives for the coming day. Rather than striving to complete a task, my focus is on connecting with various experiences, from outside and from within, to be my chosen self.

For example, my To Be list yesterday contained two items:

To Be:

– Grateful

Life undoubtedly offers many opportunities for me to be this if, or better when, I am open to receive them. Looking for things to be grateful for allows me to be part of the universe.

– Centred

Connecting with the breath, finding peace in the now help me just as they probably do many people. Having this item on my To Be list concentrates my mind on these important aspects of life whilst the day fills with many things requiring my attention.

That’s it. Did I ‘complete’ my list? Let’s say it helped. Coming back to the list each time the mind wandered and emotions, thoughts and events began to crowd in provided great support. The being really was, is again today and will be tomorrow the goal.

So, what would you place on a To Be list right now? To be Happy? Inspired? Creative? Whatever you choose, you can be. As Joan Borysenko put it: “The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.”

Keep in touch.

Brian.

2010, dedicated to helping clients optimize their potential.

www.bgdtcoaching.com

Reflections

Living the Dream

People are unique; their needs and dreams may seem similar to those of others, yet they remain profoundly person-specific. This is surely one of the key conclusions I can draw from working with various coaching clients over the course of the past three years.

Implementing action plans to bring about the life desired usually begins with one looking at where one is right now.

Accepting this place as it is doesn’t mean one has to necessarily like it. However, from here a sense of alignment with one’s goals, or determination to change something or indeed everything, can become clearer.

By connecting with the present, the living of the ‘dream’ begins in the now. It is no longer tied to getting all the pieces of the puzzle in place, nor is it dependant on the actions of others. Coelho’s words in this sense ring true.

“… when we are living our dream, the difficulties we encounter make sense.”

-Paulo Coelho

Happy Being.

Keep in touch.

Brian.

2010, dedicated to helping clients optimize their potential.

www.bgdtcoaching.com/

Reflections

Happily You Go

Whether we realize it or not, we spent hours juggling each day. Dealing with conflicting calls on our time, managing all those supposedly urgent tasks, attempting to keep everyone happy – it all comes down to juggling.

If we are honest with ourselves we know multitasking rarely produces excellence on all fronts. At best it’s a question of ‘making do’ and ‘getting by’. Certainly at times such levels of output may suffice, long term it depends on our goals and how we wish to live.

One of my favourite books is Richard Carlson’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and it’s all Small Stuff. Among the simple suggestions and insightful ideas he offers, one sentence struck me as being relevant to juggling:

“When you’re feeling out of control and resentful of all you have to do, rather than roll up your sleeves and ‘get to it,’ a better strategy is to relax, take a few deep breaths, and go for a short walk.”

Does it work? For me yes, for you I don’t know. Doing it would be the best way to find out. And then, if you like, let me know.

Happy juggling, walking and being.

Ciao for now.

Brian.
www.bgdtcoaching.com